ARTS

FOX launches new TV Game show: Are You Smarter than a Retard?

 

By Sydney Hedley, Entertainment Editor

 

NEW YORK – How tough could this be? That’s what Fox reality show guru Mike Darnell thought when he first heard of the concept for a game show called “Are You Smarter than a Retard?”

 

But less than eight weeks after the idea was born, “Are You Smarter than a Retard?” premiered last week drawing a record 23 million viewers.

The breakaway new show promises to humiliate countless contestants with normal intelligence and make retards across the country feel smug.

Each episode pits a cast of mentally handicapped dummies, schizophrenics and mongoloids against regular adults trying to answer appallingly simple questions for big money.

Contestants try to answer skill-testing questions such as “Which way is up?” and “What color is an orange?” while real retards stand by to offer help. The results are frightening yet hilarious: During the premiere show, retards guffawed heartily from the sidelines as the contestant was unable to identify where on her body her head was located.

“The show is based on the shameful reality that in many cases the average Joe does not possess even the most basic knowledge of the world around them,” Darnell said speaking before journalists.

“Sad as this truth may be, it makes for a highly entertaining battle of dimwits.”

Contestants are allowed, at times, to “cheat” and sneak a peak in a dictionary which is provided for them. However, this option is often of limited value since many of the contestants don’t remember the order of the letters of the alphabet.

On last night’s show, contestant Dan Stillman was stumped on the question “What number comes after 2?” His inability to provide the correct answer cost him $50,000. Asked his reaction to the humiliating defeat, Stillman grumbled, “What do I look like, a rocket scientist?”

The show is expected to be very popular among Europeans given their well-known love for making fun of Americans.

            CONTESTANT PROFILES 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

  

: P 

 

“Hobo-chic” fashion takes the nation by storm

 

Audiences wowed by filthy, poverty-inspired collections 

 

Hobo-chic fashion on displayOTTAWA – A groundbreaking fashion show featuring designs inspired by destitution and homelessness was held last night at the Ottawa Congress Centre.

Dubbed “Hobos: Pose,” the show was organised by a group of designers, manufacturers and representatives from the apparel and retail industries as part of Homeless Fashion Week in the nation’s capital.

With clothing inspired by the one-of-a-kind looks being sported by bums across the nation, the event explored the theme “What’s that smell?” defying the boundaries of fashion by borrowing ideas from crackheads, alcoholics, and degenerates alike.

Organisers visited homeless shelters and soup kitchens across the country for their exquisite 2008 collections.

Last night’s show was part of an effort to promote fashion-forward, “hobo-chic” designs which make use of fabrics that have been rejected in the past for being scratchy, cheap, and downright ugly. Many of the striking compositions featured copious Velcro, mis-matched buttons, and unidentified sticky goo as fabric adhesives.

“Our goal is promote the nascent Canadian fashion industry by showcasing new talent and challenging established values of comfort, aesthetic elegance and luxury,” said Venera Deliente, of Toronto-based VD Designs, who was also creative director of “Hobos: Pose.”

The photos don\'t do justice to the awful smell exuded by the 2008 collectionOne of the stars of last night’s show was Alanna Simachyov, a Vancouver-born designer who has really made a name for herself among even the most messed-up degenerates.

Her collection exuded the sleaze and gritty filth for which she has become famous: spotted sheets held together haphazardly with fishing wire and used dental floss, blood-stained plaid shirts, STD-ridden undergarments, and open-toed sneakers with bold accessories such as faded baseball caps.

Simachyov is also known for her complex use of atypical materials such as cardboard, broken glass, and sheet metal, brought to life by artfully draped strings of old pizza-box cheese and other food scraps.

The resulting look has been described as “disease-ridden with a touch of Third World vintage class.”

While hobo-chic fashion has understandably failed to break onto the catwalks of Paris and Milan, Homeless Fashion Week promises to draw much-needed attention to dirty, poverty-inspired collections.

Over fifty designers from across Canada are showing their work during Homeless Fashion Week, which opened on Sunday.

 

: P

 

New tv series “Pimp My Bride” to air on MTV next fall

   

Show to provide much-needed gangstaliciousness to stuffy bridal fashion

 

By Mondo Fernando, Staff Reporter 

Just think, your bride could look as dazzling as this one

 

NEW YORK – A new television series will provide a hip “urban” twist to the traditionally conservative institution of marriage.

The new show, Pimp My Bride, follows the successful formula of the incredibly popular series, Pimp My Ride, an MTV-produced show where cars in poor condition are restored and customized.  

“We’re thrilled about this new series,” said Van Toffler, president of the MTV Networks’ Music Group, speaking outside his  New York office.

“With most of our viewers likely to get married three or four times, PMB will inspire young brides to really be fashion-forward in their style choices.” 

MTV has signed a hosting contract with triple-threat rapping sensation Mos Def, whose goal it will be to take the stuffy monotony out of bridal fashion, injecting it with a much-needed blinged-out funkification. 

“Once I get my pimpin’ on,” Mos Def commented at a press conference, “I’m a turn these bitches into gangstalicious beauty-bombs.” 

Other shows currently under consideration for future MTV programming include Fro My Ho, Smut My Slut, and Juice My Caboose.

 

: P

 

Philosopher’s Corner 

The Theory of Breakfastology 

 

By Mondo Fernando

The theory of breakfastology is an extension of broader Culinary Theory into a more specific philosophy which places its unit of analysis on the meal of breakfast. The prime thematic thrust of Breakfastology finds its origins in a reconstruction of the anthropological sciences, allowing us to explore power relations, social theory, and humanity insofar as they pertain to key ingredients: eggs, bacon, pastries, toast, and cereal.

Breakfastism understands the nature of human functioning as dependent on the consumption of certain compositional structures, typically high-protein creations complemented by toast and a side of butter or jelly. The theory resonates in a profound modality with concepts of creation, as it often takes as its elemental component the egg.

From this initial assertion, Breakfastists employ this theoretical framework to pose penetrating critiques of hunger, meal-skipping, and Brunch Theory. (The Theory of Breakfastology robustly rejects the concept of Brunch Theory, which seeks to fuse two very distinct meals into one larger and completely adulterated neo-metameal, which targets lazy late-risers and shamelessly plagiarizes Breakfast ideas.) 

In his seminal work Phenomenology of Breakfast, Franz Seville critiques the dogmatic and deterministic approach to breakfast of his predecessors, arguing that breakfast is contained in a unit of time and space with a purpose and spirit that cannot be explained in anything but abstract, nonsensical hyperbolic jargon.

Competing interpretations have since emerged, with two main schools of thought materializing: (1) Continentalism – which focuses its analysis on breads and pastries, jam, sliced meats, and yogurt or cereal; and (2) Traditionalism – which recollects earlier notions of eggs, bacon, sausage, home fries, and toast. Both schools emphasize caffeination as a key component of their compositional inspiration.

Despite these seemingly self-evident statements of absolute Breakfastism, however, most Breakfastists clearly recognize that other meals (lunch and dinner) continue to exist in the world. Breakfast is thus best understood as one part of a larger trilogy of meals. Many Breafastologists have explored the similarity of the three-meal metaframework to Friedrich Hegel’s famous triad of thesis, antithesis, synthesis. The complex interlinkages between the two are illustrated in above figure.

 

 

 

 

   

 

  

: P 

 

“Hobo-chic” fashion takes the nation by storm

 

Audiences wowed by filthy, poverty-inspired collections 

 

Hobo-chic fashion on displayOTTAWA – A groundbreaking fashion show featuring designs inspired by destitution and homelessness was held last night at the Ottawa Congress Centre.

Dubbed “Hobos: Pose,” the show was organised by a group of designers, manufacturers and representatives from the apparel and retail industries as part of Homeless Fashion Week in the nation’s capital.

With clothing inspired by the one-of-a-kind looks being sported by bums across the nation, the event explored the theme “What’s that smell?” defying the boundaries of fashion by borrowing ideas from crackheads, alcoholics, and degenerates alike.

Organisers visited homeless shelters and soup kitchens across the country for their exquisite 2008 collections.

Last night’s show was part of an effort to promote fashion-forward, “hobo-chic” designs which make use of fabrics that have been rejected in the past for being scratchy, cheap, and downright ugly. Many of the striking compositions featured copious Velcro, mis-matched buttons, and unidentified sticky goo as fabric adhesives.

“Our goal is promote the nascent Canadian fashion industry by showcasing new talent and challenging established values of comfort, aesthetic elegance and luxury,” said Venera Deliente, of Toronto-based VD Designs, who was also creative director of “Hobos: Pose.”

The photos don\'t do justice to the awful smell exuded by the 2008 collectionOne of the stars of last night’s show was Alanna Simachyov, a Vancouver-born designer who has really made a name for herself among even the most messed-up degenerates.

Her collection exuded the sleaze and gritty filth for which she has become famous: spotted sheets held together haphazardly with fishing wire and used dental floss, blood-stained plaid shirts, STD-ridden undergarments, and open-toed sneakers with bold accessories such as faded baseball caps.

Simachyov is also known for her complex use of atypical materials such as cardboard, broken glass, and sheet metal, brought to life by artfully draped strings of old pizza-box cheese and other food scraps.

The resulting look has been described as “disease-ridden with a touch of Third World vintage class.”

While hobo-chic fashion has understandably failed to break onto the catwalks of Paris and Milan, Homeless Fashion Week promises to draw much-needed attention to dirty, poverty-inspired collections.

Over fifty designers from across Canada are showing their work during Homeless Fashion Week, which opened on Sunday.

 

: P

 

New tv series “Pimp My Bride” to air on MTV next fall

   

Show to provide much-needed gangstaliciousness to stuffy bridal fashion

 

By Mondo Fernando, Staff Reporter 

Just think, your bride could look as dazzling as this one

 

NEW YORK – A new television series will provide a hip “urban” twist to the traditionally conservative institution of marriage.

The new show, Pimp My Bride, follows the successful formula of the incredibly popular series, Pimp My Ride, an MTV-produced show where cars in poor condition are restored and customized.  

“We’re thrilled about this new series,” said Van Toffler, president of the MTV Networks’ Music Group, speaking outside his  New York office.

“With most of our viewers likely to get married three or four times, PMB will inspire young brides to really be fashion-forward in their style choices.” 

MTV has signed a hosting contract with triple-threat rapping sensation Mos Def, whose goal it will be to take the stuffy monotony out of bridal fashion, injecting it with a much-needed blinged-out funkification. 

“Once I get my pimpin’ on,” Mos Def commented at a press conference, “I’m a turn these bitches into gangstalicious beauty-bombs.” 

Other shows currently under consideration for future MTV programming include Fro My Ho, Smut My Slut, and Juice My Caboose.

 

: P

 

Philosopher’s Corner 

The Theory of Breakfastology 

 

By Mondo Fernando

The theory of breakfastology is an extension of broader Culinary Theory into a more specific philosophy which places its unit of analysis on the meal of breakfast. The prime thematic thrust of Breakfastology finds its origins in a reconstruction of the anthropological sciences, allowing us to explore power relations, social theory, and humanity insofar as they pertain to key ingredients: eggs, bacon, pastries, toast, and cereal.

Breakfastism understands the nature of human functioning as dependent on the consumption of certain compositional structures, typically high-protein creations complemented by toast and a side of butter or jelly. The theory resonates in a profound modality with concepts of creation, as it often takes as its elemental component the egg.

From this initial assertion, Breakfastists employ this theoretical framework to pose penetrating critiques of hunger, meal-skipping, and Brunch Theory. (The Theory of Breakfastology robustly rejects the concept of Brunch Theory, which seeks to fuse two very distinct meals into one larger and completely adulterated neo-metameal, which targets lazy late-risers and shamelessly plagiarizes Breakfast ideas.) 

In his seminal work Phenomenology of Breakfast, Franz Seville critiques the dogmatic and deterministic approach to breakfast of his predecessors, arguing that breakfast is contained in a unit of time and space with a purpose and spirit that cannot be explained in anything but abstract, nonsensical hyperbolic jargon.

Competing interpretations have since emerged, with two main schools of thought materializing: (1) Continentalism – which focuses its analysis on breads and pastries, jam, sliced meats, and yogurt or cereal; and (2) Traditionalism – which recollects earlier notions of eggs, bacon, sausage, home fries, and toast. Both schools emphasize caffeination as a key component of their compositional inspiration.

Despite these seemingly self-evident statements of absolute Breakfastism, however, most Breakfastists clearly recognize that other meals (lunch and dinner) continue to exist in the world. Breakfast is thus best understood as one part of a larger trilogy of meals. Many Breafastologists have explored the similarity of the three-meal metaframework to Friedrich Hegel’s famous triad of thesis, antithesis, synthesis. The complex interlinkages between the two are illustrated in above figure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

  

: P 

 

“Hobo-chic” fashion takes the nation by storm

 

Audiences wowed by filthy, poverty-inspired collections 

 

Hobo-chic fashion on displayOTTAWA – A groundbreaking fashion show featuring designs inspired by destitution and homelessness was held last night at the Ottawa Congress Centre.

Dubbed “Hobos: Pose,” the show was organised by a group of designers, manufacturers and representatives from the apparel and retail industries as part of Homeless Fashion Week in the nation’s capital.

With clothing inspired by the one-of-a-kind looks being sported by bums across the nation, the event explored the theme “What’s that smell?” defying the boundaries of fashion by borrowing ideas from crackheads, alcoholics, and degenerates alike.

Organisers visited homeless shelters and soup kitchens across the country for their exquisite 2008 collections.

Last night’s show was part of an effort to promote fashion-forward, “hobo-chic” designs which make use of fabrics that have been rejected in the past for being scratchy, cheap, and downright ugly. Many of the striking compositions featured copious Velcro, mis-matched buttons, and unidentified sticky goo as fabric adhesives.

“Our goal is promote the nascent Canadian fashion industry by showcasing new talent and challenging established values of comfort, aesthetic elegance and luxury,” said Venera Deliente, of Toronto-based VD Designs, who was also creative director of “Hobos: Pose.”

The photos don\'t do justice to the awful smell exuded by the 2008 collectionOne of the stars of last night’s show was Alanna Simachyov, a Vancouver-born designer who has really made a name for herself among even the most messed-up degenerates.

Her collection exuded the sleaze and gritty filth for which she has become famous: spotted sheets held together haphazardly with fishing wire and used dental floss, blood-stained plaid shirts, STD-ridden undergarments, and open-toed sneakers with bold accessories such as faded baseball caps.

Simachyov is also known for her complex use of atypical materials such as cardboard, broken glass, and sheet metal, brought to life by artfully draped strings of old pizza-box cheese and other food scraps.

The resulting look has been described as “disease-ridden with a touch of Third World vintage class.”

While hobo-chic fashion has understandably failed to break onto the catwalks of Paris and Milan, Homeless Fashion Week promises to draw much-needed attention to dirty, poverty-inspired collections.

Over fifty designers from across Canada are showing their work during Homeless Fashion Week, which opened on Sunday.

 

: P

 

New tv series “Pimp My Bride” to air on MTV next fall

   

Show to provide much-needed gangstaliciousness to stuffy bridal fashion

 

By Mondo Fernando, Staff Reporter 

Just think, your bride could look as dazzling as this one

 

NEW YORK – A new television series will provide a hip “urban” twist to the traditionally conservative institution of marriage.

The new show, Pimp My Bride, follows the successful formula of the incredibly popular series, Pimp My Ride, an MTV-produced show where cars in poor condition are restored and customized.  

“We’re thrilled about this new series,” said Van Toffler, president of the MTV Networks’ Music Group, speaking outside his  New York office.

“With most of our viewers likely to get married three or four times, PMB will inspire young brides to really be fashion-forward in their style choices.” 

MTV has signed a hosting contract with triple-threat rapping sensation Mos Def, whose goal it will be to take the stuffy monotony out of bridal fashion, injecting it with a much-needed blinged-out funkification. 

“Once I get my pimpin’ on,” Mos Def commented at a press conference, “I’m a turn these bitches into gangstalicious beauty-bombs.” 

Other shows currently under consideration for future MTV programming include Fro My Ho, Smut My Slut, and Juice My Caboose.

 

: P

 

Philosopher’s Corner 

The Theory of Breakfastology 

 

By Mondo Fernando

The theory of breakfastology is an extension of broader Culinary Theory into a more specific philosophy which places its unit of analysis on the meal of breakfast. The prime thematic thrust of Breakfastology finds its origins in a reconstruction of the anthropological sciences, allowing us to explore power relations, social theory, and humanity insofar as they pertain to key ingredients: eggs, bacon, pastries, toast, and cereal.

Breakfastism understands the nature of human functioning as dependent on the consumption of certain compositional structures, typically high-protein creations complemented by toast and a side of butter or jelly. The theory resonates in a profound modality with concepts of creation, as it often takes as its elemental component the egg.

From this initial assertion, Breakfastists employ this theoretical framework to pose penetrating critiques of hunger, meal-skipping, and Brunch Theory. (The Theory of Breakfastology robustly rejects the concept of Brunch Theory, which seeks to fuse two very distinct meals into one larger and completely adulterated neo-metameal, which targets lazy late-risers and shamelessly plagiarizes Breakfast ideas.) 

In his seminal work Phenomenology of Breakfast, Franz Seville critiques the dogmatic and deterministic approach to breakfast of his predecessors, arguing that breakfast is contained in a unit of time and space with a purpose and spirit that cannot be explained in anything but abstract, nonsensical hyperbolic jargon.

Competing interpretations have since emerged, with two main schools of thought materializing: (1) Continentalism – which focuses its analysis on breads and pastries, jam, sliced meats, and yogurt or cereal; and (2) Traditionalism – which recollects earlier notions of eggs, bacon, sausage, home fries, and toast. Both schools emphasize caffeination as a key component of their compositional inspiration.

Despite these seemingly self-evident statements of absolute Breakfastism, however, most Breakfastists clearly recognize that other meals (lunch and dinner) continue to exist in the world. Breakfast is thus best understood as one part of a larger trilogy of meals. Many Breafastologists have explored the similarity of the three-meal metaframework to Friedrich Hegel’s famous triad of thesis, antithesis, synthesis. The complex interlinkages between the two are illustrated in above figure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

  

: P 

 

“Hobo-chic” fashion takes the nation by storm

 

Audiences wowed by filthy, poverty-inspired collections 

 

Hobo-chic fashion on displayOTTAWA – A groundbreaking fashion show featuring designs inspired by destitution and homelessness was held last night at the Ottawa Congress Centre.

Dubbed “Hobos: Pose,” the show was organised by a group of designers, manufacturers and representatives from the apparel and retail industries as part of Homeless Fashion Week in the nation’s capital.

With clothing inspired by the one-of-a-kind looks being sported by bums across the nation, the event explored the theme “What’s that smell?” defying the boundaries of fashion by borrowing ideas from crackheads, alcoholics, and degenerates alike.

Organisers visited homeless shelters and soup kitchens across the country for their exquisite 2008 collections.

Last night’s show was part of an effort to promote fashion-forward, “hobo-chic” designs which make use of fabrics that have been rejected in the past for being scratchy, cheap, and downright ugly. Many of the striking compositions featured copious Velcro, mis-matched buttons, and unidentified sticky goo as fabric adhesives.

“Our goal is promote the nascent Canadian fashion industry by showcasing new talent and challenging established values of comfort, aesthetic elegance and luxury,” said Venera Deliente, of Toronto-based VD Designs, who was also creative director of “Hobos: Pose.”

The photos don\'t do justice to the awful smell exuded by the 2008 collectionOne of the stars of last night’s show was Alanna Simachyov, a Vancouver-born designer who has really made a name for herself among even the most messed-up degenerates.

Her collection exuded the sleaze and gritty filth for which she has become famous: spotted sheets held together haphazardly with fishing wire and used dental floss, blood-stained plaid shirts, STD-ridden undergarments, and open-toed sneakers with bold accessories such as faded baseball caps.

Simachyov is also known for her complex use of atypical materials such as cardboard, broken glass, and sheet metal, brought to life by artfully draped strings of old pizza-box cheese and other food scraps.

The resulting look has been described as “disease-ridden with a touch of Third World vintage class.”

While hobo-chic fashion has understandably failed to break onto the catwalks of Paris and Milan, Homeless Fashion Week promises to draw much-needed attention to dirty, poverty-inspired collections.

Over fifty designers from across Canada are showing their work during Homeless Fashion Week, which opened on Sunday.

 

: P

 

New tv series “Pimp My Bride” to air on MTV next fall

   

Show to provide much-needed gangstaliciousness to stuffy bridal fashion

 

By Mondo Fernando, Staff Reporter 

Just think, your bride could look as dazzling as this one

 

NEW YORK – A new television series will provide a hip “urban” twist to the traditionally conservative institution of marriage.

The new show, Pimp My Bride, follows the successful formula of the incredibly popular series, Pimp My Ride, an MTV-produced show where cars in poor condition are restored and customized.  

“We’re thrilled about this new series,” said Van Toffler, president of the MTV Networks’ Music Group, speaking outside his  New York office.

“With most of our viewers likely to get married three or four times, PMB will inspire young brides to really be fashion-forward in their style choices.” 

MTV has signed a hosting contract with triple-threat rapping sensation Mos Def, whose goal it will be to take the stuffy monotony out of bridal fashion, injecting it with a much-needed blinged-out funkification. 

“Once I get my pimpin’ on,” Mos Def commented at a press conference, “I’m a turn these bitches into gangstalicious beauty-bombs.” 

Other shows currently under consideration for future MTV programming include Fro My Ho, Smut My Slut, and Juice My Caboose.

 

: P

 

Philosopher’s Corner 

The Theory of Breakfastology 

 

By Mondo Fernando

The theory of breakfastology is an extension of broader Culinary Theory into a more specific philosophy which places its unit of analysis on the meal of breakfast. The prime thematic thrust of Breakfastology finds its origins in a reconstruction of the anthropological sciences, allowing us to explore power relations, social theory, and humanity insofar as they pertain to key ingredients: eggs, bacon, pastries, toast, and cereal.

Breakfastism understands the nature of human functioning as dependent on the consumption of certain compositional structures, typically high-protein creations complemented by toast and a side of butter or jelly. The theory resonates in a profound modality with concepts of creation, as it often takes as its elemental component the egg.

From this initial assertion, Breakfastists employ this theoretical framework to pose penetrating critiques of hunger, meal-skipping, and Brunch Theory. (The Theory of Breakfastology robustly rejects the concept of Brunch Theory, which seeks to fuse two very distinct meals into one larger and completely adulterated neo-metameal, which targets lazy late-risers and shamelessly plagiarizes Breakfast ideas.) 

In his seminal work Phenomenology of Breakfast, Franz Seville critiques the dogmatic and deterministic approach to breakfast of his predecessors, arguing that breakfast is contained in a unit of time and space with a purpose and spirit that cannot be explained in anything but abstract, nonsensical hyperbolic jargon.

Competing interpretations have since emerged, with two main schools of thought materializing: (1) Continentalism – which focuses its analysis on breads and pastries, jam, sliced meats, and yogurt or cereal; and (2) Traditionalism – which recollects earlier notions of eggs, bacon, sausage, home fries, and toast. Both schools emphasize caffeination as a key component of their compositional inspiration.

Despite these seemingly self-evident statements of absolute Breakfastism, however, most Breakfastists clearly recognize that other meals (lunch and dinner) continue to exist in the world. Breakfast is thus best understood as one part of a larger trilogy of meals. Many Breafastologists have explored the similarity of the three-meal metaframework to Friedrich Hegel’s famous triad of thesis, antithesis, synthesis. The complex interlinkages between the two are illustrated in above figure.

 

 

 

 

   

 

  

: P 

 

“Hobo-chic” fashion takes the nation by storm

 

Audiences wowed by filthy, poverty-inspired collections 

 

Hobo-chic fashion on displayOTTAWA – A groundbreaking fashion show featuring designs inspired by destitution and homelessness was held last night at the Ottawa Congress Centre.

Dubbed “Hobos: Pose,” the show was organised by a group of designers, manufacturers and representatives from the apparel and retail industries as part of Homeless Fashion Week in the nation’s capital.

With clothing inspired by the one-of-a-kind looks being sported by bums across the nation, the event explored the theme “What’s that smell?” defying the boundaries of fashion by borrowing ideas from crackheads, alcoholics, and degenerates alike.

Organisers visited homeless shelters and soup kitchens across the country for their exquisite 2008 collections.

Last night’s show was part of an effort to promote fashion-forward, “hobo-chic” designs which make use of fabrics that have been rejected in the past for being scratchy, cheap, and downright ugly. Many of the striking compositions featured copious Velcro, mis-matched buttons, and unidentified sticky goo as fabric adhesives.

“Our goal is promote the nascent Canadian fashion industry by showcasing new talent and challenging established values of comfort, aesthetic elegance and luxury,” said Venera Deliente, of Toronto-based VD Designs, who was also creative director of “Hobos: Pose.”

The photos don\'t do justice to the awful smell exuded by the 2008 collectionOne of the stars of last night’s show was Alanna Simachyov, a Vancouver-born designer who has really made a name for herself among even the most messed-up degenerates.

Her collection exuded the sleaze and gritty filth for which she has become famous: spotted sheets held together haphazardly with fishing wire and used dental floss, blood-stained plaid shirts, STD-ridden undergarments, and open-toed sneakers with bold accessories such as faded baseball caps.

Simachyov is also known for her complex use of atypical materials such as cardboard, broken glass, and sheet metal, brought to life by artfully draped strings of old pizza-box cheese and other food scraps.

The resulting look has been described as “disease-ridden with a touch of Third World vintage class.”

While hobo-chic fashion has understandably failed to break onto the catwalks of Paris and Milan, Homeless Fashion Week promises to draw much-needed attention to dirty, poverty-inspired collections.

Over fifty designers from across Canada are showing their work during Homeless Fashion Week, which opened on Sunday.

 

: P

 

New tv series “Pimp My Bride” to air on MTV next fall

   

Show to provide much-needed gangstaliciousness to stuffy bridal fashion

 

By Mondo Fernando, Staff Reporter 

Just think, your bride could look as dazzling as this one

 

NEW YORK – A new television series will provide a hip “urban” twist to the traditionally conservative institution of marriage.

The new show, Pimp My Bride, follows the successful formula of the incredibly popular series, Pimp My Ride, an MTV-produced show where cars in poor condition are restored and customized.  

“We’re thrilled about this new series,” said Van Toffler, president of the MTV Networks’ Music Group, speaking outside his  New York office.

“With most of our viewers likely to get married three or four times, PMB will inspire young brides to really be fashion-forward in their style choices.” 

MTV has signed a hosting contract with triple-threat rapping sensation Mos Def, whose goal it will be to take the stuffy monotony out of bridal fashion, injecting it with a much-needed blinged-out funkification. 

“Once I get my pimpin’ on,” Mos Def commented at a press conference, “I’m a turn these bitches into gangstalicious beauty-bombs.” 

Other shows currently under consideration for future MTV programming include Fro My Ho, Smut My Slut, and Juice My Caboose.

 

: P

 

Philosopher’s Corner 

The Theory of Breakfastology 

 

By Mondo Fernando

The theory of breakfastology is an extension of broader Culinary Theory into a more specific philosophy which places its unit of analysis on the meal of breakfast. The prime thematic thrust of Breakfastology finds its origins in a reconstruction of the anthropological sciences, allowing us to explore power relations, social theory, and humanity insofar as they pertain to key ingredients: eggs, bacon, pastries, toast, and cereal.

Breakfastism understands the nature of human functioning as dependent on the consumption of certain compositional structures, typically high-protein creations complemented by toast and a side of butter or jelly. The theory resonates in a profound modality with concepts of creation, as it often takes as its elemental component the egg.

From this initial assertion, Breakfastists employ this theoretical framework to pose penetrating critiques of hunger, meal-skipping, and Brunch Theory. (The Theory of Breakfastology robustly rejects the concept of Brunch Theory, which seeks to fuse two very distinct meals into one larger and completely adulterated neo-metameal, which targets lazy late-risers and shamelessly plagiarizes Breakfast ideas.) 

In his seminal work Phenomenology of Breakfast, Franz Seville critiques the dogmatic and deterministic approach to breakfast of his predecessors, arguing that breakfast is contained in a unit of time and space with a purpose and spirit that cannot be explained in anything but abstract, nonsensical hyperbolic jargon.

Competing interpretations have since emerged, with two main schools of thought materializing: (1) Continentalism – which focuses its analysis on breads and pastries, jam, sliced meats, and yogurt or cereal; and (2) Traditionalism – which recollects earlier notions of eggs, bacon, sausage, home fries, and toast. Both schools emphasize caffeination as a key component of their compositional inspiration.

Despite these seemingly self-evident statements of absolute Breakfastism, however, most Breakfastists clearly recognize that other meals (lunch and dinner) continue to exist in the world. Breakfast is thus best understood as one part of a larger trilogy of meals. Many Breafastologists have explored the similarity of the three-meal metaframework to Friedrich Hegel’s famous triad of thesis, antithesis, synthesis. The complex interlinkages between the two are illustrated in above figure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

  

: P 

 

“Hobo-chic” fashion takes the nation by storm

 

Audiences wowed by filthy, poverty-inspired collections 

 

Hobo-chic fashion on displayOTTAWA – A groundbreaking fashion show featuring designs inspired by destitution and homelessness was held last night at the Ottawa Congress Centre.

Dubbed “Hobos: Pose,” the show was organised by a group of designers, manufacturers and representatives from the apparel and retail industries as part of Homeless Fashion Week in the nation’s capital.

With clothing inspired by the one-of-a-kind looks being sported by bums across the nation, the event explored the theme “What’s that smell?” defying the boundaries of fashion by borrowing ideas from crackheads, alcoholics, and degenerates alike.

Organisers visited homeless shelters and soup kitchens across the country for their exquisite 2008 collections.

Last night’s show was part of an effort to promote fashion-forward, “hobo-chic” designs which make use of fabrics that have been rejected in the past for being scratchy, cheap, and downright ugly. Many of the striking compositions featured copious Velcro, mis-matched buttons, and unidentified sticky goo as fabric adhesives.

“Our goal is promote the nascent Canadian fashion industry by showcasing new talent and challenging established values of comfort, aesthetic elegance and luxury,” said Venera Deliente, of Toronto-based VD Designs, who was also creative director of “Hobos: Pose.”

The photos don\'t do justice to the awful smell exuded by the 2008 collectionOne of the stars of last night’s show was Alanna Simachyov, a Vancouver-born designer who has really made a name for herself among even the most messed-up degenerates.

Her collection exuded the sleaze and gritty filth for which she has become famous: spotted sheets held together haphazardly with fishing wire and used dental floss, blood-stained plaid shirts, STD-ridden undergarments, and open-toed sneakers with bold accessories such as faded baseball caps.

Simachyov is also known for her complex use of atypical materials such as cardboard, broken glass, and sheet metal, brought to life by artfully draped strings of old pizza-box cheese and other food scraps.

The resulting look has been described as “disease-ridden with a touch of Third World vintage class.”

While hobo-chic fashion has understandably failed to break onto the catwalks of Paris and Milan, Homeless Fashion Week promises to draw much-needed attention to dirty, poverty-inspired collections.

Over fifty designers from across Canada are showing their work during Homeless Fashion Week, which opened on Sunday.

 

: P

 

New tv series “Pimp My Bride” to air on MTV next fall

   

Show to provide much-needed gangstaliciousness to stuffy bridal fashion

 

By Mondo Fernando, Staff Reporter 

Just think, your bride could look as dazzling as this one

 

NEW YORK – A new television series will provide a hip “urban” twist to the traditionally conservative institution of marriage.

The new show, Pimp My Bride, follows the successful formula of the incredibly popular series, Pimp My Ride, an MTV-produced show where cars in poor condition are restored and customized.  

“We’re thrilled about this new series,” said Van Toffler, president of the MTV Networks’ Music Group, speaking outside his  New York office.

“With most of our viewers likely to get married three or four times, PMB will inspire young brides to really be fashion-forward in their style choices.” 

MTV has signed a hosting contract with triple-threat rapping sensation Mos Def, whose goal it will be to take the stuffy monotony out of bridal fashion, injecting it with a much-needed blinged-out funkification. 

“Once I get my pimpin’ on,” Mos Def commented at a press conference, “I’m a turn these bitches into gangstalicious beauty-bombs.” 

Other shows currently under consideration for future MTV programming include Fro My Ho, Smut My Slut, and Juice My Caboose.

 

: P

 

Philosopher’s Corner 

The Theory of Breakfastology 

 

By Mondo Fernando

The theory of breakfastology is an extension of broader Culinary Theory into a more specific philosophy which places its unit of analysis on the meal of breakfast. The prime thematic thrust of Breakfastology finds its origins in a reconstruction of the anthropological sciences, allowing us to explore power relations, social theory, and humanity insofar as they pertain to key ingredients: eggs, bacon, pastries, toast, and cereal.

Breakfastism understands the nature of human functioning as dependent on the consumption of certain compositional structures, typically high-protein creations complemented by toast and a side of butter or jelly. The theory resonates in a profound modality with concepts of creation, as it often takes as its elemental component the egg.

From this initial assertion, Breakfastists employ this theoretical framework to pose penetrating critiques of hunger, meal-skipping, and Brunch Theory. (The Theory of Breakfastology robustly rejects the concept of Brunch Theory, which seeks to fuse two very distinct meals into one larger and completely adulterated neo-metameal, which targets lazy late-risers and shamelessly plagiarizes Breakfast ideas.) 

In his seminal work Phenomenology of Breakfast, Franz Seville critiques the dogmatic and deterministic approach to breakfast of his predecessors, arguing that breakfast is contained in a unit of time and space with a purpose and spirit that cannot be explained in anything but abstract, nonsensical hyperbolic jargon.

Competing interpretations have since emerged, with two main schools of thought materializing: (1) Continentalism – which focuses its analysis on breads and pastries, jam, sliced meats, and yogurt or cereal; and (2) Traditionalism – which recollects earlier notions of eggs, bacon, sausage, home fries, and toast. Both schools emphasize caffeination as a key component of their compositional inspiration.

Despite these seemingly self-evident statements of absolute Breakfastism, however, most Breakfastists clearly recognize that other meals (lunch and dinner) continue to exist in the world. Breakfast is thus best understood as one part of a larger trilogy of meals. Many Breafastologists have explored the similarity of the three-meal metaframework to Friedrich Hegel’s famous triad of thesis, antithesis, synthesis. The complex interlinkages between the two are illustrated in above figure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

  

: P 

 

“Hobo-chic” fashion takes the nation by storm

 

Audiences wowed by filthy, poverty-inspired collections 

 

Hobo-chic fashion on displayOTTAWA – A groundbreaking fashion show featuring designs inspired by destitution and homelessness was held last night at the Ottawa Congress Centre.

Dubbed “Hobos: Pose,” the show was organised by a group of designers, manufacturers and representatives from the apparel and retail industries as part of Homeless Fashion Week in the nation’s capital.

With clothing inspired by the one-of-a-kind looks being sported by bums across the nation, the event explored the theme “What’s that smell?” defying the boundaries of fashion by borrowing ideas from crackheads, alcoholics, and degenerates alike.

Organisers visited homeless shelters and soup kitchens across the country for their exquisite 2008 collections.

Last night’s show was part of an effort to promote fashion-forward, “hobo-chic” designs which make use of fabrics that have been rejected in the past for being scratchy, cheap, and downright ugly. Many of the striking compositions featured copious Velcro, mis-matched buttons, and unidentified sticky goo as fabric adhesives.

“Our goal is promote the nascent Canadian fashion industry by showcasing new talent and challenging established values of comfort, aesthetic elegance and luxury,” said Venera Deliente, of Toronto-based VD Designs, who was also creative director of “Hobos: Pose.”

The photos don\'t do justice to the awful smell exuded by the 2008 collectionOne of the stars of last night’s show was Alanna Simachyov, a Vancouver-born designer who has really made a name for herself among even the most messed-up degenerates.

Her collection exuded the sleaze and gritty filth for which she has become famous: spotted sheets held together haphazardly with fishing wire and used dental floss, blood-stained plaid shirts, STD-ridden undergarments, and open-toed sneakers with bold accessories such as faded baseball caps.

Simachyov is also known for her complex use of atypical materials such as cardboard, broken glass, and sheet metal, brought to life by artfully draped strings of old pizza-box cheese and other food scraps.

The resulting look has been described as “disease-ridden with a touch of Third World vintage class.”

While hobo-chic fashion has understandably failed to break onto the catwalks of Paris and Milan, Homeless Fashion Week promises to draw much-needed attention to dirty, poverty-inspired collections.

Over fifty designers from across Canada are showing their work during Homeless Fashion Week, which opened on Sunday.

 

: P

 

New tv series “Pimp My Bride” to air on MTV next fall

   

Show to provide much-needed gangstaliciousness to stuffy bridal fashion

 

By Mondo Fernando, Staff Reporter 

Just think, your bride could look as dazzling as this one

 

NEW YORK – A new television series will provide a hip “urban” twist to the traditionally conservative institution of marriage.

The new show, Pimp My Bride, follows the successful formula of the incredibly popular series, Pimp My Ride, an MTV-produced show where cars in poor condition are restored and customized.  

“We’re thrilled about this new series,” said Van Toffler, president of the MTV Networks’ Music Group, speaking outside his  New York office.

“With most of our viewers likely to get married three or four times, PMB will inspire young brides to really be fashion-forward in their style choices.” 

MTV has signed a hosting contract with triple-threat rapping sensation Mos Def, whose goal it will be to take the stuffy monotony out of bridal fashion, injecting it with a much-needed blinged-out funkification. 

“Once I get my pimpin’ on,” Mos Def commented at a press conference, “I’m a turn these bitches into gangstalicious beauty-bombs.” 

Other shows currently under consideration for future MTV programming include Fro My Ho, Smut My Slut, and Juice My Caboose.

 

: P

 

Philosopher’s Corner 

The Theory of Breakfastology 

 

By Mondo Fernando

The theory of breakfastology is an extension of broader Culinary Theory into a more specific philosophy which places its unit of analysis on the meal of breakfast. The prime thematic thrust of Breakfastology finds its origins in a reconstruction of the anthropological sciences, allowing us to explore power relations, social theory, and humanity insofar as they pertain to key ingredients: eggs, bacon, pastries, toast, and cereal.

Breakfastism understands the nature of human functioning as dependent on the consumption of certain compositional structures, typically high-protein creations complemented by toast and a side of butter or jelly. The theory resonates in a profound modality with concepts of creation, as it often takes as its elemental component the egg.

From this initial assertion, Breakfastists employ this theoretical framework to pose penetrating critiques of hunger, meal-skipping, and Brunch Theory. (The Theory of Breakfastology robustly rejects the concept of Brunch Theory, which seeks to fuse two very distinct meals into one larger and completely adulterated neo-metameal, which targets lazy late-risers and shamelessly plagiarizes Breakfast ideas.) 

In his seminal work Phenomenology of Breakfast, Franz Seville critiques the dogmatic and deterministic approach to breakfast of his predecessors, arguing that breakfast is contained in a unit of time and space with a purpose and spirit that cannot be explained in anything but abstract, nonsensical hyperbolic jargon.

Competing interpretations have since emerged, with two main schools of thought materializing: (1) Continentalism – which focuses its analysis on breads and pastries, jam, sliced meats, and yogurt or cereal; and (2) Traditionalism – which recollects earlier notions of eggs, bacon, sausage, home fries, and toast. Both schools emphasize caffeination as a key component of their compositional inspiration.

Despite these seemingly self-evident statements of absolute Breakfastism, however, most Breakfastists clearly recognize that other meals (lunch and dinner) continue to exist in the world. Breakfast is thus best understood as one part of a larger trilogy of meals. Many Breafastologists have explored the similarity of the three-meal metaframework to Friedrich Hegel’s famous triad of thesis, antithesis, synthesis. The complex interlinkages between the two are illustrated in above figure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

  

: P 

 

“Hobo-chic” fashion takes the nation by storm

 

Audiences wowed by filthy, poverty-inspired collections 

 

Hobo-chic fashion on displayOTTAWA – A groundbreaking fashion show featuring designs inspired by destitution and homelessness was held last night at the Ottawa Congress Centre.

Dubbed “Hobos: Pose,” the show was organised by a group of designers, manufacturers and representatives from the apparel and retail industries as part of Homeless Fashion Week in the nation’s capital.

With clothing inspired by the one-of-a-kind looks being sported by bums across the nation, the event explored the theme “What’s that smell?” defying the boundaries of fashion by borrowing ideas from crackheads, alcoholics, and degenerates alike.

Organisers visited homeless shelters and soup kitchens across the country for their exquisite 2008 collections.

Last night’s show was part of an effort to promote fashion-forward, “hobo-chic” designs which make use of fabrics that have been rejected in the past for being scratchy, cheap, and downright ugly. Many of the striking compositions featured copious Velcro, mis-matched buttons, and unidentified sticky goo as fabric adhesives.

“Our goal is promote the nascent Canadian fashion industry by showcasing new talent and challenging established values of comfort, aesthetic elegance and luxury,” said Venera Deliente, of Toronto-based VD Designs, who was also creative director of “Hobos: Pose.”

The photos don\'t do justice to the awful smell exuded by the 2008 collectionOne of the stars of last night’s show was Alanna Simachyov, a Vancouver-born designer who has really made a name for herself among even the most messed-up degenerates.

Her collection exuded the sleaze and gritty filth for which she has become famous: spotted sheets held together haphazardly with fishing wire and used dental floss, blood-stained plaid shirts, STD-ridden undergarments, and open-toed sneakers with bold accessories such as faded baseball caps.

Simachyov is also known for her complex use of atypical materials such as cardboard, broken glass, and sheet metal, brought to life by artfully draped strings of old pizza-box cheese and other food scraps.

The resulting look has been described as “disease-ridden with a touch of Third World vintage class.”

While hobo-chic fashion has understandably failed to break onto the catwalks of Paris and Milan, Homeless Fashion Week promises to draw much-needed attention to dirty, poverty-inspired collections.

Over fifty designers from across Canada are showing their work during Homeless Fashion Week, which opened on Sunday.

 

: P

 

New tv series “Pimp My Bride” to air on MTV next fall

   

Show to provide much-needed gangstaliciousness to stuffy bridal fashion

 

By Mondo Fernando, Staff Reporter 

Just think, your bride could look as dazzling as this one

 

NEW YORK – A new television series will provide a hip “urban” twist to the traditionally conservative institution of marriage.

The new show, Pimp My Bride, follows the successful formula of the incredibly popular series, Pimp My Ride, an MTV-produced show where cars in poor condition are restored and customized.  

“We’re thrilled about this new series,” said Van Toffler, president of the MTV Networks’ Music Group, speaking outside his  New York office.

“With most of our viewers likely to get married three or four times, PMB will inspire young brides to really be fashion-forward in their style choices.” 

MTV has signed a hosting contract with triple-threat rapping sensation Mos Def, whose goal it will be to take the stuffy monotony out of bridal fashion, injecting it with a much-needed blinged-out funkification. 

“Once I get my pimpin’ on,” Mos Def commented at a press conference, “I’m a turn these bitches into gangstalicious beauty-bombs.” 

Other shows currently under consideration for future MTV programming include Fro My Ho, Smut My Slut, and Juice My Caboose.

 

: P

 

Philosopher’s Corner 

The Theory of Breakfastology 

 

By Mondo Fernando

The theory of breakfastology is an extension of broader Culinary Theory into a more specific philosophy which places its unit of analysis on the meal of breakfast. The prime thematic thrust of Breakfastology finds its origins in a reconstruction of the anthropological sciences, allowing us to explore power relations, social theory, and humanity insofar as they pertain to key ingredients: eggs, bacon, pastries, toast, and cereal.

Breakfastism understands the nature of human functioning as dependent on the consumption of certain compositional structures, typically high-protein creations complemented by toast and a side of butter or jelly. The theory resonates in a profound modality with concepts of creation, as it often takes as its elemental component the egg.

From this initial assertion, Breakfastists employ this theoretical framework to pose penetrating critiques of hunger, meal-skipping, and Brunch Theory. (The Theory of Breakfastology robustly rejects the concept of Brunch Theory, which seeks to fuse two very distinct meals into one larger and completely adulterated neo-metameal, which targets lazy late-risers and shamelessly plagiarizes Breakfast ideas.) 

In his seminal work Phenomenology of Breakfast, Franz Seville critiques the dogmatic and deterministic approach to breakfast of his predecessors, arguing that breakfast is contained in a unit of time and space with a purpose and spirit that cannot be explained in anything but abstract, nonsensical hyperbolic jargon.

Competing interpretations have since emerged, with two main schools of thought materializing: (1) Continentalism – which focuses its analysis on breads and pastries, jam, sliced meats, and yogurt or cereal; and (2) Traditionalism – which recollects earlier notions of eggs, bacon, sausage, home fries, and toast. Both schools emphasize caffeination as a key component of their compositional inspiration.

Despite these seemingly self-evident statements of absolute Breakfastism, however, most Breakfastists clearly recognize that other meals (lunch and dinner) continue to exist in the world. Breakfast is thus best understood as one part of a larger trilogy of meals. Many Breafastologists have explored the similarity of the three-meal metaframework to Friedrich Hegel’s famous triad of thesis, antithesis, synthesis. The complex interlinkages between the two are illustrated in above figure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 responses to “ARTS

  1. Machu Piccu

    It’s worthwhile to note that one of the major critiques leveled against breakfastism is that it’s fundamentally Eurocentric.

    The vast majority of those living outside the western world don’t even know what breakfast is!

  2. blondo bernardino

    “you can derelicte my balls”
    that is “derelicte” with an e at the end.

    Hot tranny mess.

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