Marxist-Leninist Party of Canada vows to abolish elections

Party lays out campaign platform for October 14 federal revolutionary struggle

 

By Sam Hagan, Staff Reporter

 

OTTAWA – The Marxist-Leninist Party of Canada (MLPC) has vowed to relieve the country of expensive and burdensome elections, Party leader Anna Di Carlo announced earlier today.

 

The pledge came in week two of the federal election, and shortly after polls revealed the party’s supporters to be in the single digits.

 

Di Carlo said her government would dedicate $5.25 billion a year to re-education through labour camps, and $3.2 billion in new spending on the creation of a government-controlled media machine that would replace the current imperialist system.

 

As part of the party’s economic plan, MLPC leader vowed to abolish private land ownership and distribute it among Canada’s peasants. Canadians will be freed from the chains of oppression and assigned to manual farm labour and work in ammunition factories.

 

She also promised to bring an end to the tyranny of globalization.

 

“Comrades! Our party will close its borders to trade and bring an end to the Internet!” she announced.

 

Reacting to the bold campaign promises, Liberal Party Leader Stephane Dion described the party as “clearly pandering to working families.”

 

Recent polling indicates that the MLPC is trailing behind the Canadian Sex Party and the Saskatchewan Independence Party, but is ahead of the Animal Alliance Party by one vote.

 

: P

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