Settles for blow job from hot editor
By Sam Hagan, Staff Reporter
LOS ANGELES – Hollywood heartthrob Orlando Bloom threatened to sue the Pundit for libel on Monday over a story that speculated that the famed actor had had a lobotomy.
The threat came amidst a broader trend of celebrities fighting back with lawsuits against tabloids and gossip rags.
Bloom’s lawyer drafted the threatening letter which was couriered to the Pundit’s Los Angeles office. The letter accused the online newspaper of damaging Bloom’s reputation by wrongfully suggesting that he was an unintelligent zombie.
The article, which was published last month, speculated that Bloom had “undergone a deep frontal cut after demonstrating zombie-like behaviour.”
“The Pundit has been my primary source for news reporting for a long time now,” Bloom stated in a press conference. “But a newspaper loses its integrity when it doesn’t get the facts right.”
After a private meeting between Pundit attorneys and Bloom’s lawyer, an out-of-court settlement was reached in which Bloom would accept a blow job from one of the newspaper’s attractive editors.
While the controversial article also speculated that actress Mary Kate Olsen had undergone a lobotomy, her lawyers declined to take legal action since Olsen actually did have such an operation late last year.
See the original article here: https://punditonline.wordpress.com/2008/04/29/tummy-tuck-lip-puck-brain-suck/#more-140